


Secrets.

by reidbyers



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 22:26:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10795986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reidbyers/pseuds/reidbyers
Summary: You’d kept your Dyslexia a secret from Spencer for a while now, you didn’t want the BAU’s resident genius to look down on you because of something so trivial; but like all the profilers were trained to do, he eventually found out.





	Secrets.

Your job as a profiler had it’s pros and cons, you loved having the ability to save people’s lives and put away the people who hurt others, there was nothing in the world that gave you that sort of rush. Most of the time it was more of an hands on job but like every other job you’d had, there was so much paperwork. When you’d been interviewed for the job, you’d didn’t mention your Dyslexia since it had been a big reason as to why you hadn’t been hired at other jobs. It wasn’t all bad, while your dyslexia made reading case files difficult and countless spelling mistakes on emails, it gave you the ability to solve problems better than anyone on the team; as long as they didn’t know you’d be okay.

Four months had passed since you joined the team and not once had anyone asked you why you had the text on your tablet at the biggest font or why you almost always wrote notes down in pencil rather than pen (it was so you could rub the mistakes out.) Every day you expected someone to ask but it never came and eventually, you stopped worrying about it.

It was a particularly rough day, you were staying at the office late to look over a particular case file that had caught your eye. Recently, Spencer had been spending more nights at the office. He didn’t speak often but occasionally would ask for your opinion of something or place a new cup of coffee on your desk. You appreciated his company, it got lonely sometimes and it was nice to have someone around who was a reminder that everything you read in those case files wasn’t the whole world.

You had grown to like Spencer, he was a little odd but in the best way. While most of the team would roll their eyes at the endless amount of facts he could spew out on command, you really enjoyed hearing what he had to say. You wouldn’t say you were close with him however, you also felt a little intimidated by him because there couldn’t be more of a difference between the two of you. Spencer could read 20,000 words per minute and you struggled with reading a paragraph without confusing the order of the words, he loved to read and the idea of having to read out loud around other people scared the hell out of you. You worried that if he knew your secret, he might think you weren’t smart enough for him, that maybe he wanted someone who could keep up with him and enjoyed his hobbies as much as he did.

With a sigh, you dropped your pen down onto the desk and rubbed your eyes. You were too stressed too read, whenever you got stressed your dyslexia only got worse and it made things even more difficult. You’d spent most of your life trying not to hate yourself for having a learning difficulty, you’d finally gotten to a point where at least somewhat okay with it but it was still embarrassing.

“Something wrong, (Y/N?) Spencer’s voice brought you out of your thoughts, you looked over at the doctor who was now looking at you. His desk was covered in books, books you’d probably find interesting but didn’t have the patience to read. You just sighed and offered a small shrug,

“You know, Dyslexia is very common, around 1 in every 10 people have Dyslexia which means around 40 million Americans are likely to have it.” Spencer said in his usual tone of voice, he was smart but didn’t notice how your face went bright red or how your breath got caught in your throat. How did he know? This was Spencer you were talking about and he did seem to know everything but you had tried to hide it around him more than anyone. If he knew about your Dyslexia then shouldn’t he also know that it was something you weren’t comfortable talking about it or comfortable with him knowing? Questions raced through your mind but you tried to calm down, clearing your throat before speaking.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Spencer.” You replied before looking back down at the file, the words on the page appeared blurred and unrecognizable, you squinted down at the paper as if that was going to help, determined to be able to read it.

“You struggle a lot to remember things like phone numbers, you almost never read aloud the notes you take and instead try to memorise what the person said and you often misspell simple words that someone with your intelligence should know how to spell. You’ve been staring at that case file for half an hour now and haven’t flipped the page, most likely because you’re under pressure to finish evaluating it and it’s causing your Dyslexia to worsen; it’s obvious.” Spencer wasn’t trying to be malicious but his words only made you angrier, he’d known for a while know and instead of talking to you about it, not only had he’d studied you, he’d then proceeded to diagnose you.

Clenching your fists underneath the table, you tried not to yell across the room at him. You knew that Spencer didn’t always understand what he said could be misconstrued as rude, he was never purposefully mean but that didn’t stop the way you were feeling.

“I didn’t ask you to diagnose me, I know damn well what I have and you telling me my symptoms isn’t helping shit.” You didn’t yell. You instead let the venom in your words speak for themselves. Now that Spence knew, you couldn’t thinking about the times where you thought you were being sneaky but he had noticed, did everyone else know? Had you in fact been some sort of secret laughing matter for the rest of the team when you weren’t around.

You slowly stood up from the desk, not yet with the courage to look at Spencer before turning and walking over to the kitchen section of the office, you didn’t need more coffee but just needed to be away from him for a few moments. You stared down at the half full coffee jug, your whole body feeling warm with embarrassment. Was that why Spencer had been so nice to you, because he felt sorry for you? Angry tears threatened to spill from your eyes when you then felt a presence behind you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Spencer said hesitantly, his hands clasped together in front of him. He watched as you wiped the tears away from your eyes but not ready to turn around and face you yet. It hadn’t been his intention to insult you, he thought he was just explaining how he had noticed but he also knew that it was common for people to not understand his intentions. “I don’t care, if it’s any consultation. It doesn’t change my opinion on you.”

“And what is your opinion of me?” You asked quietly, turning to face him then leaning back against the counter, crossing your arms defensively over your chest.

“I think you’re a highly intelligent woman who has valuable talents, I’ve grown fond of you these past months.” Spencer confessed, watching as your facial expression softened. He didn’t rush a response from you, watching as you dropped your arms from your chest then began walking back over to your desk slowly; he let you go ahead until he knew you wanted him to follow.

“My dad is Dyslexic too, I guess it runs in the family. It used to be much worse but I’ve learned to manage it in the past years. And as you noticed yes, it gets worse when I’m stressed. I didn’t want to tell anyone, especially you. I thought that people might think I was stupid.” You admitted while you walked past your desk and went over to Spencer’s, picking up any old random book, flipping through it idly as you spoke. “It’s silly, you’re literally a genius who almost always has a book in his hand and then there’s me, panicking over reading a few sentences in case I fuck up.”

Spencer walked around the desks until he was next to you, looking down at the book you’d picked up. The idea that he’d find you stupid because of this was ridiculous to him, you’d already more than proven yourself to him. It was then that an idea popped into his head. He took the chair from the neighbouring desk and rolled it next to his, gently taking the book from your hands before going and sitting down, patting the seat next to him.

“What? You want to read to me? You don’t think people have already tried that with me?” You tried to sound annoyed but the smile on your face gave it away, it was sweet. You never read for pleasure anymore because most of the time it was more struggle than it was worth, there were plenty of books you wanted to read but would instead listen to, audio books had become your new best friend because it was just like someone reading to you.

“Then you should know that it helps, come sit down.” Spencer flipped the pages back to the front, resting the book on his lap as he leant forward to pick up his glasses from his desk. You once again sighed but did as he asked, sitting down beside him.

Time flew by as Spencer read to you, hours went by as you both got absorbed into the fictional world. His voice brought solace to you, your eyes and head getting so heavy that you ended up resting on his shoulder, trying to follow along with the words but failing.

That’s how it carried on, every Wednesday and Friday you spent together after work, Spencer reading to you and you listening to the comforting tone of his voice. On plane rides home from long cases he’d do the same, light hearted fairy tails became the best medicine for getting the terrible images out of your head; especially when Spencer did all the funny voices.

When you eventually told Spencer your feelings for him and he told you how he reciprocated them, those days only grew, gifted books slowly worming their way into your apartment until it mirrored Spencer’s. You’d read together on the couch, asking for help when you needed it and eventually reading to him, still struggling but not with the fear of looking stupid anymore. He couldn’t cure your Dyslexia but he could make you feel safe in sharing it with him and helping you learn how to manage it.


End file.
